Fuckwads

So... I am an angry person today.

Life has been a wee bit on the rough side for a while now, combine that with the heat, and traffic and all sorts of other things, I am just generally pissed at the world today...

So, that being said, I also recognize it and am aware of the irrationalities that emerge from this type of mood, but something happened today that triggered something that has rattled around in this shell I call my head during those non-pissed-at-the-world-fuck-it-all times...

Now, with the title of fuckwads, that could really be a wide range of people and or things that happened, eh? Well... what happened was in line at the post office I saw a lady that resembled an ex's mother. Soooo it made me think about the ex... and she is a fuckwad... actually the fuckwads that I am referencing to in this post are all women, and all ex's/women in my life.

So... what heinous thing did these ladies do to be fuckwads?

Well...

They made me hope.

I have been in a number of different relationship, and been in love a number of times, but most of these relationships came together gradually and just worked out... well.. ok... divorced twice, maybe they didn't work out...

But there have been a few... a very few, that their very presence stirs me, hell the very thought of them does... and the feelings have been reciprocated... and hope blooms.......... and then somehow the Agent Orange gets sprayed all over the blossoms and it just fucking withers away...

Now, I am not laying blame, and actually, I still love and long for these women, but at times I think of them and get angry, as it seems it would have been nicer to have never had that hope...

These fuckwads are everywhere, everyone has a fuckwad or two in their life...

I know that I am a fuckwad too...

Doesn't make it any easier...

Fucking post office.