Relationships
Such a universal word/concept. We have relationships in so many ways with so many people. We relate with all sorts of people every day, some deeper than others, we talk, text, tweet, update, interact, kiss, cuddle, fuck, fight, flame people daily. In person, online, over the phone, all are relationships of a sense; some are deep, some are superficial, some are by design and others are accidental, some are long term, others so fleeting that they are not even realized...
So with all of these relationships going on around us, why is it that so many of us long for a relationship, why are they so hard to 'find' and maintain, why is it so easy to find the 'wrong' ones and or why is it that the wrong ones find us?
When I was young, my mother worked in a retirement home, and I saw couples that had been together for 50-60 years, and hated each other... But...separating was not an option in their mind. I saw this and told myself that life was too short to be miserable, and two divorces later, I still believe that... So then why am I 'miserable' without one? well, I guess I really am not miserable without it, but it is interesting the way that relationship issues can cause misery even when there is no stable on-going relationship.
I know I am not alone in this, reading posts, blogs, tweets, having conversations etc, there seems to be a plethora of people that are looking without finding... Are we all just being to fucking choosy? I think about all of the various options that are out there for romantic relationships, Poly, mono, gay, straight, queer and it seems that with some combination of these, a person should be able to find what fits, so what is the problem???
For me personally, I know that there are elements of conflict just within some of these choices for me... Specifically the mono/poly element...
I feel mainly monogamous in regards to the romantic and psychological/emotional element of things. I want to have that one person that I am totally attached to, enthralled with, and would do anything for, and yet when I think about the physical elements of a relationship, I have yet to meet a single person that embodies all of the likes, dislikes, wants, desires that I have... Now I am not trying to allude to some wonderful sexual prowess, but I have yet a woman yet that can be tall, short, skinny, fat, big breasted, flat chested, brown, white, Asian, long haired, short haired, trans-sexual, all in the same package... I know... I am a greedy bastard, I want it all...
Not to mention that some of the things I have interest in are occasional things... every once in a while (and nothing personal here to anyone that fits this mold) I get really turned on by skinny chicks with small tits... it is not my norm, and I can tell you from being in a relationship with a lady that fit that mold, I missed my big tittied plush ladies quickly... doesn't mean I don't still want to play there every now and then again...
Does this make me poly... not really by my definition, make me a male... wanting my cake and eating it too, but, I know there are women out there that are cool with this concept. So why do I keep finding monogamous people that turn my crank??? and why do they find me???
I dunno... I am trying to have faith that the Universe, the Goddess and Karma have a plan for/with me, but it is hard at times... Seeing someone those that you have an interest in not seeming to have an interest in you, and knowing that I am doing the same to others...
